Another Entertaining Word Quiz

What magazine once described Nancy Reagan as a "pinch-faced doxy"?What contemporary novel spoke of a "dry-cleaned son"?
In what Monty Python sketch were the words "staggeringly popular" uttered?
In what Shakespearean play are the words "Out, vile jelly!" spoken?
In what two Woody Allen movies will you find the words "homunculus" and "jejune"?
What Mel Brooks movie features the line "I didn't get a harrumph out of you"?

Answers to follow later this week.

Everybody Talks About the Weather, But Nobody Does Anything About It

I think one reason I am on this earth is to encourage my fellow travelers to use the language more expressively and creatively--and to convince them it will be a satisfying experience to do so.

I'm going to be talking for a moment about trying to banish--or minimize--uttering the most overused word in the English language (with the possible exception of "like"): "nice."

I think that the average person would be shocked at how often he or she uses that word to the exclusion of so many other words that are more vivid, precise, colorful. As George Carlin once sagely observed: "Nice is a weak word; doesn't have a lot of character."

So the next time the weather outside is sunny, pleasant, and warm, don't exclaim to a friend as you head outside, "Oh, it's such a nice day!" How about "What a glorious day!" Or "It's gorgeous out today." Or "The weather is spectacular today!"

I once heard a guy in Seattle exclaim as he saw a fancy Italian sports car--it was a Ferrari or Maserati--parked near where he was walking: "What a nice car." Really? That's the best you can do? How about a "beautiful" car or "magnificent" car or "fabulous" car? You know those words. Use them!

Want to immediately enliven your vocabulary? Pretend the word "nice" doesn't exist. Every time you sense that you're about to say it (or write it), whatever the situation, pause and choose a different word. Believe me, there always is one.

Bonus obscure word of the day: "discalceate." It means to take your shoes off. Disarrange the hosts at the next dinner party you attend by inquiring whether they would have any problem if you were to discalceate at some point during the evening.

A Gallimaufry of Words

acerbic
appetizing
atrocious
deranged
despicable
drivel
expunge
hyperbole
lout
opulent
tantalizing

You probably know what most (or all) of these words mean: ever use them in a conversation or an e-mail?

Being popular is important. Otherwise, people might not like you.

                                             -- Mimi Pond

Provocative Erotica

Word lover that I am, I want to recommend some erotic anthologies from my library:

The Ecstatic Moment, edited by Marianna Beck and Jack Hafferkamp, 1997, Dell Publishing. From the pages of Libido: The Journal of Sex and Sensibility.
"Over 40 superb stories and poems come together in a daring collection of sensual fantasies, taboo-breaking romps, and forbidden liaisons."

Best Women's Erotica 2010, edited by Violet Blue, 2010, Cleis Press.
"Best Women's Erotica 2010 delivers ecstatic, heady, and heart-pounding thrills . . . and showcases the most daring, best-written erotica of the year."

The Best American Erotic Poems: From 1800 to the Present, edited by David Lehman, 2008,
Scribner Poetry.
"Thoughtful, provocative, moving, and sometimes mirthful, the poems collected in The Best American Erotic Poems celebrate . . . exuberant sensuality. With candor and imagination, they capture the pleasures and torments of sex and sexuality, nudity, desire, love, lust, and the secret life of fantasy."

Enjoy.

Belated Valentine's Day Words

Here are some words that are evocative of love, romance, sex--in all their intoxicating variety. See if you can find a way to incorporate some of them into your life soon:

alluring
callipygian: possessing a shapely derriere
concupiscent: lustful
curvaceous
lascivious
nubile
ogle
racy
risque
seductive
shapely
steamy
toothsome
voluptuous
wanton

A Few Quotes

Cecil B. DeMille returned a script to a screenwriter with the following note: "What I have crossed out I didn't like. What I haven't crossed out I am dissatisfied with."

My father gave me a bat for Christmas.
The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.

                                             -- Rodney Dangerfield

I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering in her mouth.

                                            -- Chico Marx

Humor from Richard Lederer

Student bloopers (published in The Revenge of Anguished English, 2005):

The gift that the Phoenicians gave to civilization was Phoenician blinds.
The four gospels were written by John, Paul, George, and that other guy.
The ship that brought the first settlers to the new world was the Cauliflower.
Someone who runs for an office he already holds is called an incompetent.
The author of The Communist Manifesto was Harpo Marx.

Urban Dictionary

A few words from Urban Dictionary that you perhaps could sprinkle into a conversation when the occasion is right:

ego search: to search for one's own name online. Also called "ego surfing."
ridonkulous: completely absurd and laughable
sammich: a sandwich, with connotations of extra goodness. For example, if you pour gravy on a roast beef sandwich, you then have a roast beef sammich.

Women With "Flowery" Names

Why are some women named Rose or Daisy, but you rarely encounter a woman named Snapdragon or Aspidistra?

Funny Words

Which do you prefer: birdbrain or bumpkin? Clod or cretin? Dolt or dunce? Dweeb or flunky? Galoot or goon? Hayseed or ignoramus? Lout or lummox? Nitwit or nudnik? Oaf or pissant? Quack or schmo? Stooge or twerp? Twit or yokel?

Enliven your day tomorrow: try using one or more of these words. Surely you'll have at least one occasion to do so, and if you do, let me know what sort of reaction you caused.